I wish..

"If you CAN, would you rather change the past or know the future?"

"Know the future", that's what I said
But..
I know that deep in my heart
I would love to change the past
I wish to change the past
I wish...

My life was perfect
I didn't ask for more
But what I want is to fix my past
Not to fix others
But to fix myself
To change myself
To be a better person..

If I can,
I wish..
To go back to school and study again
Get better grades than before
Although I wasn't bad
I just want to be better
So that I can stand higher
Get a better chance
Soar higher than others
In the big blue sky.

I wish..
To change the past
I know that I wasn't an intelligent person
I know that I wasn't the best
But..
I tried very hard to improve
And I did
It's just..
I'm not good enough
And now..
I lost my chance
I'm stuck in the middle of no where
Not knowing which way should I go
Which move should I proceed in the next game
I'm suffering..
In making decisions
Big and important decisions..

Oh I'll be having my sweet time
If I were the smartest kid..
Where chances come to me,
Instead of me looking for them like hell.
I wish..

I'm extremely frustrated
With myself
With my past
I wish to change my past
I wish...
FAT HOPE!!!
You can't do that..
I can't do that..

What should I do now?
Look ahead?
What if I see nothing?
Huh??